so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
