there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
