Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
