i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
