you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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