Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I wish i was in the wii world.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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