I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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