Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
