About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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