Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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