Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
