i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
