It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
