i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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