how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
