Betty ford says i'm here all night
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
