I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I have post one night stand depression
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