The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
