Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
