Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
