when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
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I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize