i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
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I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
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I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?