Sry I called you an 8
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?