I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.