whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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