so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.