i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
