thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
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