I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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