i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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