What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
