barbara walters just said penis...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
