i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
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