Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
