dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
