You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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