My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
