the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Farmville is her only friend.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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