Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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