hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
