Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
