He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
honey bunches of taint.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
