I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
