so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
