Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
wow bdsm is so cute
We smell like vodka and hangover
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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