Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize