I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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