My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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