I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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