So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize