Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
