last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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