Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
