Little spoons don't ask big questions
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
