sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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