oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
