Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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