Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
