playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
