If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
