I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
