I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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