every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
either way he was missing a nipple.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
